Breakfast for Dinner

Nature's Path Vanilla Almond Crunch cereal with ice cold almond milk and a barely-ripe banana is wonderful. I didn't have much of an appetite and that lovely little meal just did the trick. I ate my weight in vegetables at lunch, anyway, and hadn't had anything carby all day, so there's no guilt either . . . and my typically-rambunctious tummy actually feels pretty good.

I'm still feeling effects from the acupuncture. People who practice Chinese medicine always seem so peaceful, I've always thought. Maybe I'll become one of them . . . Who knows if such inner composure is possible for a nut-job like me though, hah. Probably not. But I'll sure as heck give it a shot!

I'm reading The Bluest Eye by Toni Morrison for my literature and philosophy class. It's devastating, but great--so well-written and compelling. I often feel alienated by African-American writers for some reason . . . I think because the attitude towards white people tends to be so uncomfortably negative. That attitude makes sense, all thing considered, but it still manages to make me feel weirdly uncomfortable and disconnected and guilty-feeling. That doesn't seem to be an issue with Morrison's work, and I don't know why that is, but I am definitely glad.

Professor Cherry says there are three types of friends: functional friends, fun friends, and virtuous friends. Functional friends are people who are useful to you. Not someone that you're merely using for your own selfish purposes--that isn't a friend at all. The girl I sit next to in math, for example. She's sweet as can be, I like her, but if we didn't complain about math together, we wouldn't have anything to say to one another. There's no way we have enough in common to be legitimate friends. A fun friend is like a party-buddy. And a virtuous friend is a truly good friend, one who leads you to virtue . . . it's a friendship based on values and respect and genuine caring and, presumably, it lasts a long time. I think my "problem" is that I'm not interested in the first two types of friends. I am just interested in the third type. And that kind of relationship isn't exactly easy to find and it certainly can't be manufactured out of sheer force-of-will. This realization is actually quite relieving to me. Despite myself, in the back of my head, I've always felt like a little bit of a weirdo for not having friends. But, when I really think about it, the only types of friendships my peers have are the first two kinds . . . and I honestly don't want that, anyway. I'm an all-or-nothing kind of gal . . . if I can't have a good, virtuous friend, I don't want any at all. And I'm not at all ashamed of that.

I'm so sleepy I can't hardly see straight. Enough senseless rambling. I'll pick up again on the 'morrow.